Intertribal relationships: What are the challenges?

More than 300 tribes in Nigeria.

Hello everyone

I am still in my writing cave battling with fictional characters in my head. Nonetheless, I have an interesting experience to share with you.

ENCOUNTER:

A few weeks ago, I met a lady called Bimbo Okoye. When she told me her name, I was instantly confused, and it must have shown on my face because she said, “I get that reaction from Nigerians all the time.”

Her remark caused a bout of shame to hit me, and I found myself mumbling through an awkward apology. Luckily for me, she was gracious. Not only did she laugh off my embarrassment, she also explained that her parents wanted her to know both sides of her culture and insisted that her name reflected that.

Most Nigerians would understand my initial reaction because the combination of her name is quite unusual—A Yoruba first name with an Igbo surname.

For non-Nigerians who may not understand this, Nigeria is an amalgamation of up to, if not more than 300 tribes. Some with similar language and culture, others with quite different ways of life. Names, accents, traditional attire, religion and other subtle qualities can suggest a person’s tribe.

MUSINGS:

Because of my experience with Bimbo, I decided to use the name Yemi Okeke for the new story I have begun working on. She is one of four children born to an Igbo father and a Yoruba mother.

This got me thinking about intertribal relationships and marriages. As a Nigerian from the Igbo tribe whose parents are both Igbos and who married an Igbo man, I have very little experience with the challenges that intertribal relationships can bring.

I know there are many stereotypes associated with various tribes, but I have always considered them all superficial and non-significant when individuals are involved.

Of course, there are constant jokes about the Igbos loving money too much, the Yoruba tribe throwing multiple elaborate parties even when broke, the Edo tribe having supernatural powers, e. t. c. But do the stereotypes really count in the daily living between couples or friends from different tribes?

Not for me. Although I enjoy those tribal jokes, I try not to let them influence my dealings with anyone on a personal level.

The wedding party, a movie I enjoyed tremendously, showcased an intertribal marriage. I loved the humour and the exploration of various cultures.

Do you have any stories to share about intertribal relationships? Have you observed any challenges from any? Do you think cultural differences can destroy a relationship?

I still believe in One Nigeria. However, I also like to celebrate our diversity.

The Wedding Party. A wonderful movie celebrating cultural diversity in Nigeria..

 

 

 

You might also like:

My first romance novel written by a man…oops 2 men!

Hello everyone

I am excited to share that I have just ticked off an item from my literary bucket list, and that is to read a contemporary romance novel—not erotica– by an African MAN.

Yes, you read right! I have a literary bucket list— crazy bookworm that I am.

Okay, back to the book…

Title:  Love Eventually by Walter Ude and Chisom Ojukwu

Format /platforrm:  ebook/Okadabooks

https://beta.okadabooks.com/book/about/love_eventually/12452

Verdict:  Loved it!  4 ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I must confess I was a little sceptical at first when Literary Everything, an online book review blog for mostly African literature, recommended  this book, because I didn’t know the authors and had never come across their previous books. However, when I found out it was a romance novella written by guys, my interests piqued and I decided to try it.  I’m glad I did.

Storyline:  It’s about Cordelia, a headstrong, bike-riding, lawyer who meets and falls for Philip, a practical, uptight auditor. A typical boy meets girl love story with Nigerian characters. Although very simple, the sheer sweetness of the characters together made me sigh with pleasure.

Dialogue: This is where this book got me— Fantastic, realistic and witty conversations which drew me into each character. I loved that I could feel every lovey-dovey emotion and even the arguments as though I was there with the couple. And the humour is absolutely my kind of humour, which gives this book a plus.

Character development: Well rounded and engaging. I got to understand why Cordelia and Philip became the way they were. They also had endearing quirks that drew me to them.

Writing style: Okay. Not too many unnecessary details, which to me, is a plus.

Down side: Not much, because I’m being picky about this, but I really don’t like simple love stories. I prefer more meat in a storyline. But that’s just me.

Thank you Walter Ude and Chisom Ojukwu for helping me with my literary bucket list 😊

See the review that made me purchase the book in the first place!

http://literaryeverything.com/2018/08/27/love-eventually-by-walter-ude-and-chisom-ojukwu/

Love Eventually by Walter Ude and Chisom Ojukwu
You might also like:

Break-up scenes are such a thrill to write.

Hello everyone.

I am still in my writing cave and almost done with the first draft of another romance novel set in Abuja, Nigeria.

Yesterday, I wrote a break-up scene.

It amazed me just how much I enjoyed writing it, that I began thinking about the other times I relished penning down scenes with couple fights. I get such a thrill from those emotional and verbal altercations between lovers that it makes me wonder if I’m not a bit of a drama queen myself.

I’ll be honest and confess this; I love reading about couple catfights and watching it on TV, too.

One of my favourite TV scenes ever, was the quarrel between Rachel and Ross in ‘Friends’— when she found out he cheated on her with the girl who worked at the copier shop. It was so well written and acted, that I felt every emotion with the couple and could identify with both Ross and Rachel.

That remark “we were on a break,” from Ross, has stuck with me many years after watching it.

As a lover of romance novels and movies, I always enjoy a good emotional break-up scene.
Here’s a sneak peek of one in my work in progress. Hope you like it.

 

Ogonna rose abruptly, lifting her bag off the bed.

“Okay, then…” She made a move to walk past him.

Philip rushed to the door and slammed it shut, bracing himself against it.

“Step away, Phil. I want to leave,” she said.

“No!” Philip barked, broadening his stance, so she had no room to push him away. “We need to talk.”

“No, Phil. I have nothing else to say except, you can have her…”

“What? I don’t want her.”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“No, I don’t…Listen, please. I don’t know what Stella told you, but it’s not what you think…”

Ogonna burst into a mirthless laugh, interrupting Philip…

 

Rachel and Ross from “Friends”
One of my best scenes ever!
You might also like:

The Senator’s Daughter- Teaser

Hello everyone,

I just got back from a one week holiday in Malta. Although the sunshine was extreme, I enjoyed the beautiful island with lots of interesting history and culture. Returning to ones usual routine after a break can be hard sometimes, but I’m slowly getting there.

To start off the week,  here is a little teaser from The Senator’s Daughter— The first of a trilogy I’m writing about three childhood friends, Nosa, Philip and Femi who all reside in Abuja, Nigeria.  Enjoy.

They stood that way, locked in each other’s arms, drawing comfort from each other.
Slowly, Rita rose to her tiptoes and brushed a soft kiss to his lips. Nosa froze. His heart slammed into his chest.

He could feel the sensual change in the atmosphere. His heart began to pound rapidly inside his rib-cage, but he remained still, immobilised by a mixture of need and dread—the intense desire to, and fear of getting, lost in her embrace.

“Kiss me, Nosa,” Rita spoke in a hoarse whisper.

“Rita…” he protested weakly. He didn’t want to take advantage of her grief, of her trust. He tried to pull away, but she was having none of it. She secured her arms around him and pulled him closer.

“Kiss me, Nosa,” she whispered again.

Nosa’s gaze dropped to her full lips. They were parted slightly, welcoming, and pleading. He would oblige her, kiss her and let her go. Just one kiss and he would let her go. He couldn’t deny her this request. How could he? When he also wanted a taste of her succulent lips.

Heart hammering, he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her gently. The soft throaty sound she made scrambled his resolve. With a deep groan, he sought her mouth again. This time, his tongue probed her mouth.

The Senator’s Daughter
You might also like:

Thorns and Roses… Teaser Thursday

Hello everyone. I am currently in my writing cave working hard on the first draft of a romance novel set in Abuja, Nigeria. Hopefully, it should be out soon.

In the meantime, here is a little teaser from Thorns and Roses.

 

They resumed their meal in silence. “I want to take you out this Saturday,” Chuma broke the silence again. Ifeoma held her breath, waiting for him to continue.

“I have a boat in Lagos Marina. I love to sail on Saturday sometimes.”

Still speechless, Ifeoma dared not say anything, dared not move.

“The weather appears promising, no rain. We can have—”

“I have to work on Saturday … I work on Saturdays, remember?” Her voice suddenly returned, cutting him off. She could not allow him to continue, to paint a picture in her mind. It was hard enough not to reach out across the table and touch him. Keeping her desire for him in check was torture. She did not need him painting this perfect fairy-tale picture in her head. Especially when it was obvious that he wasn’t attracted to her. She was just a hobby to him. A problem to fix. Something interesting to occupy his bored rich mind. No, she won’t encourage this.

Chuma’s dark eyes flashed in anger. He took in a deep breath as if trying to calm himself. He didn’t succeed.

“I know you work Saturdays, damn it.” His voice came out harshly. “I know you worked last Saturday, and the Saturday before that and Sundays too.”

Taking a gulp of water as if he needed that to finally calm down, he swallowed slowly. “I just want you to have one Saturday off. Just one. And relax. Stop fighting the world!”

Ifeoma’s pulse jerked at the intensity she saw in his eyes. This was all too much. She felt like she was drowning. To spend a whole Saturday relaxing on a boat with him? How could she do that and not fall at his feet? Or beg him never to leave her? No, she couldn’t. He made her weak, she had to fight him, preserve herself.

I am not my mother; I am a strong woman.

 

Thanks for reading. Thorns and Roses is available in online ebook stores and as paper copies too.

Thorns And Roses
You might also like: